Jeremy Clarkson for Prime Minister?

Sometimes I feel the anguish that this world gives me, slowly start to fade away. But that constant torture has become like a drug, and I need to feel angry, in order to not feel ill and lost. Luckily, living in the Internet age, it's pretty easy to get my fix. All I need to do is go on facebook or Huffington Post, and minutes later I'll be ripping feather pillows apart with my teeth.

Today, I woke up with a smile, so I new something was wrong with me. I got onto facebook. I knew I needed something to really get me going. I thought for a minute... who do I hate? Glenn Beck? No, I used him last week. ShockofGod? No, that's more just pity. Then I thorght of the perfect person... Jeremy Clarkson! I facebook searched his name. I don't know if you've ever facebook searched Jeremy Clarkson, but this is what you find:

            
That's not all of them. I counted 46 before I got bored and gave up.

Maybe some of my foreign readers are unfamiliar with Jeremy Clarkson. (how I envy you) So let me explain; Jeremy Clarkson, or Jezza, as twats call him. Is a 51 year old man, with the intellect of a 14 year old standing outside an immigrant run newsagents, telling the owner through the window to go back to a country he doesn't come from. He's one of three presenters on a BBC show called Top Gear. The premise of the show is Jeremy Clarkson driving around in fast cars, telling people what he doesn't like about about races, genders and religions. A typical line from the show would be something like "I'm in a ferrari something-something-something, it's the fastest car in the world! Unlike Mexicans who a lazy, and sleep a lot!"

I used to enjoy Top Gear, until I reached about 15 (coincidentally the collective IQ of all three Top Gear presenters.) That was when Top Gear's politicly-incorrect rhetoric stopped being funny to me, and just started to seem repetitive and pathetic. If Top Gear excels in one thing though - and you have to give it credit for it - Top Gear is brilliant at hiding how conceived it is. The way Clarkson, May, and Hammond deliver their jokes, you'd be forgiven for thinking they're improvised. But you'd be wrong! In fact the three of them sit in a room months before scripting it all. I've always imaged to be something like this: 

                                                           Jezza: 

Do you know what would be a funny Top Gear joke? If I was to say 'women can't

drive' HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

                                                         Hamster: 

Ha-ha-ha Yeah Jeremy ha-ha-ha that would be funny ha-ha-ha.

                         Long haired boring one who wears the cardigans:

Yeah, and then maybe I can say something like 'is that because they're too busy in the kitchen?' 

                                                          Jezza: 

Yes, that's exactly what you should say. Because that's exactly what we do on Top Gear, we satirise political correctness. And even if any stupid women get offended and complain to the Guardian, it's ok. because, we have herds of mindless viewers, to utter the Top Gear Mantra: It's only a joke!      

Astrology and Religion.

    Astrology, is a concept, invented centuries ago by our ancestors who were still ignorant in their understandings of the cosmos. 
 With the objective of trying to put some false sense of order into a universe rampant with chaos, and to comfort people, by leading them to believe they have a privileged position in the word. Astrology offers vague and inconclusive predictions. And those predictions, will surely be different depending on whose you follow. 
   
  Astrology appears all across history, all across the planet, but the imagery, and stories are different throughout. The beliefs of the Ancient Babylonians are different to the beliefs of the Ancient Egyptians. The beliefs of the Native Americans are different to the ones of the Celts, who lived in Britain. And all them different to what's believed today.  There is no global consensus on astrology. What you believe, is based, not on facts or evidence, but on what country you were born in, and/or what you were told as a child.     

 Astrology goes against every thing we've learned , through science, yet millions of people chose to still believe in it. People force themselves dismiss truths, because lies smell sweeter. And based on their mistrusted faith, in these fabricated lies. People make wrong choices, and pass up great opportunities. 

Knowing this, any sensible person.  Would probably arrive at the conclusion that astrology is bullshit, and even a possible danger to the race. 
Now, read this again... but change 'Astrology' with 'Religion'     
                   

DON'T KILL HITLER!

are we too right-wing for time travel? 

 
Despite what a majority of you probably thought when you saw the title - especially those who know me well - this is not a post about the approaching September episode of Doctor Who entitled 'Let's Kill Hitler'. Nor is it an open letter to Quentin Tarantino, telling him... well I won't spoil the end of Inglorious Bastards for those who haven't seen it (although I've clearly already given it away.)  It is, actually, a blog about why you shouldn't kill Hitler....
 
There are a lot of people in this world who have no imagination. Regrettably, most of these creatively inept people have formspring accounts. So quite frequently, the same same, unimaginative, uninteresting questions appear in your inbox. Examples being: 'what's your favourite band?', 'What came first, the chicken or the egg?', 'U R GAY!' But there's one question that keeps coming up, and it's not the question that bothers me, so much have how so many people choose to answer it. The question is 'If you could go back in time, where would you go, and what would you do?'... Now, there's nothing wrong with this question, but 90% of time, I see it being answerd with 'I'd kill Hitler' 

Now, don't take this the wrong way, I hate Hitler too.I'm no Hitler fan. And I, like most, wish that Hitler had never been born .Or had never got it to power. However I do strongly believe that killing Hitler, by means of time travel, would be a bad idea. Now I can see where, at this point you might disagree with me. You might think that,by killing Hitler, you'd save the lives of ten million people murderd in the holocaust, and all the soldiers -on both sides- who lost their lives. Well, you'd be right. But that's not the point. Imagine a young couple in love, living in 1930s Britain. But before long the boy gets called to war, were he's eventually shot to death in occupied France. The girl grieves, for a while, and then moves on and starts a family with someone else. Now if you were to kill Hitler, she would have stayed with boy one, who would have never went to war, and they'd have lived happily ever after. The romantics may fail to see what I'm getting at here, but if she hadn't have met boy 2 , she never would have had that family. In your return to 2011 you'd find that the children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren for the girl, would have never been. Now imagine this a thousand times over. You may return to the present day to find that your friend, wife, husband, boss or fiancée. No longer exist. As well, all the great films, paintings, literature and poems derived from the war, have all also vanished. Culture will be completely different, relationships with other nations will be weaker, no Winston Churchills or George Pattons to be idolised and Anti-Semitism maybe still running strong in the national consensus.   


This is what worries me about time travel , not all the complicated paradoxes about killing your granddad or sleeping with your mother. But man's inability to think past his macho-conservative attitude, and use time travel as a way to go back and kill everyone he disagrees with. It's not just benevolent dictators that are in danger either. What's to stop the Pope from going back in time and killing Mohamed and L. Ron Hubbard and every other prophet, making Christianity the only religion on the planet?


As much as I would love to experience time travel in our lifetime, I'm quite glad it's far beyond our reach. Hopefully, one day, when our race is far far past it's killing people phase, then we can have time travel. When it'll be used only for learning and recreation, and not as a weapon.