Jeremy Clarkson for Prime Minister?

Sometimes I feel the anguish that this world gives me, slowly start to fade away. But that constant torture has become like a drug, and I need to feel angry, in order to not feel ill and lost. Luckily, living in the Internet age, it's pretty easy to get my fix. All I need to do is go on facebook or Huffington Post, and minutes later I'll be ripping feather pillows apart with my teeth.

Today, I woke up with a smile, so I new something was wrong with me. I got onto facebook. I knew I needed something to really get me going. I thought for a minute... who do I hate? Glenn Beck? No, I used him last week. ShockofGod? No, that's more just pity. Then I thorght of the perfect person... Jeremy Clarkson! I facebook searched his name. I don't know if you've ever facebook searched Jeremy Clarkson, but this is what you find:

            
That's not all of them. I counted 46 before I got bored and gave up.

Maybe some of my foreign readers are unfamiliar with Jeremy Clarkson. (how I envy you) So let me explain; Jeremy Clarkson, or Jezza, as twats call him. Is a 51 year old man, with the intellect of a 14 year old standing outside an immigrant run newsagents, telling the owner through the window to go back to a country he doesn't come from. He's one of three presenters on a BBC show called Top Gear. The premise of the show is Jeremy Clarkson driving around in fast cars, telling people what he doesn't like about about races, genders and religions. A typical line from the show would be something like "I'm in a ferrari something-something-something, it's the fastest car in the world! Unlike Mexicans who a lazy, and sleep a lot!"

I used to enjoy Top Gear, until I reached about 15 (coincidentally the collective IQ of all three Top Gear presenters.) That was when Top Gear's politicly-incorrect rhetoric stopped being funny to me, and just started to seem repetitive and pathetic. If Top Gear excels in one thing though - and you have to give it credit for it - Top Gear is brilliant at hiding how conceived it is. The way Clarkson, May, and Hammond deliver their jokes, you'd be forgiven for thinking they're improvised. But you'd be wrong! In fact the three of them sit in a room months before scripting it all. I've always imaged to be something like this: 

                                                           Jezza: 

Do you know what would be a funny Top Gear joke? If I was to say 'women can't

drive' HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

                                                         Hamster: 

Ha-ha-ha Yeah Jeremy ha-ha-ha that would be funny ha-ha-ha.

                         Long haired boring one who wears the cardigans:

Yeah, and then maybe I can say something like 'is that because they're too busy in the kitchen?' 

                                                          Jezza: 

Yes, that's exactly what you should say. Because that's exactly what we do on Top Gear, we satirise political correctness. And even if any stupid women get offended and complain to the Guardian, it's ok. because, we have herds of mindless viewers, to utter the Top Gear Mantra: It's only a joke!